I have always loved your turn of phrase
Whenever you meet her dazzling gaze
You've got time to change color when she's mentioned
When she pass by you, it's like you've been poisoned.
When she utter a word to you, the anxiety you can't bear
'Cause you only want to touch her cheek and caress her hair
Your eyes are tucked on her heavenly haze
Her twists and turns are from an angel's grace
Indeed, it is true, that love does make you blind
For you never even noticed the girl from behind
While your smile was hung to your ears while watching her,
I try and fake one, too, to be with you forever.
Until one day, you told me you're giving up
You said love is doomed and your hopes should be stopped
I can't possibly be happy for this is one of my fears
So I stayed with you, and comforted you, and shed all your tears
I have no idea on what to feel nor think
My heart is pounding, lips are sealed, eyes can't blink
Could this be true? That I can finally have you?
But I feel no joy, nor grief, instead I feel blue.
My confusions came to a stop
You came to me with lips pulled up
You can never stop loving her
And this time, you are very sure.
Now I should be back to basics
And ignore my heart's tiny pinpricks
If you smile all day cause she said "Hi!"
I'll fake one, too, 'til our last goodbye.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
My World: Chapter Three
Last Saturday, we were asked to come back to school for our Values Ed. Culminating Activity. It was unlike any usual days. By the end of the day, we all ended up crying. Well, most of us. I kinda expected the crying scene. So, I pretty much didn't give my all back there. It was way, too embarrassing. Anyway, we all shared the same "jumpy" mood until the end of the day. After the activity, most of my friends and I went to SM to slack off a bit and unwind. All of us had fun. Then, in one very unexpected moment, I saw news in front of me. With very little details that aren't even accurate.
My friend called me and tried to verify if it's really our past English teacher she saw coming out of the Flip-flops shop. Our teacher, as I remembered, had been with us when we were in sixth grade. She was very kind, and somehow good at teaching. She's a kind of teacher that I think could surpass any level of standard. For that, I admire her. I naturally believed that she would become a great teacher someday. But in one unforgettable instance, I happened to see her with a few people, holding a baby, wearing a plain and shabby shirt paired with a seemingly authentic shorts, and a pair of rubber slippers. She was carrying a bag that looks like a baby-provider-keeper. While her companions looked somehow well-groomed and elite.
Believe me, I really don't want to make silly, false assumptions, but the thought about the possible resonances keep on running through my head. It's just very disturbing.
What if one day, you treat a person with such respect knowing a predictable profession lies ahead of them, and then the next thing you'll know, you'd end up meeting them again working for someone, or doing jobs that don't seem to fit their portfolios when they were still in college, or just walking around collecting garbage. Not that you don't show respect anymore, but just think about what they've become. I'm not stressing out that these kinds of occupations are somehow below the belt. What I'm trying to say is, it's such a pity seeing people that were so productive, so witty, so reliable beforehand. Yet again, they end up at a future that I never expected seeing them in. I want to believe that they're happy, that they somehow chose this future of theirs. Whatever the case, I just want to express the gratitude I have for them. For being such strong individuals. I'm pretty sure they've overcome strange obstacles before they thoroughly settled in their chosen path. And I'm positive that God personally picked them up in their past line of life, and carefully placed them to the line where they belong. God knows better. And he ought to have a better plan for our future than we have for ourselves. Just make sure to cling to him at all times, and nothing can possibly go wrong. :)
My friend called me and tried to verify if it's really our past English teacher she saw coming out of the Flip-flops shop. Our teacher, as I remembered, had been with us when we were in sixth grade. She was very kind, and somehow good at teaching. She's a kind of teacher that I think could surpass any level of standard. For that, I admire her. I naturally believed that she would become a great teacher someday. But in one unforgettable instance, I happened to see her with a few people, holding a baby, wearing a plain and shabby shirt paired with a seemingly authentic shorts, and a pair of rubber slippers. She was carrying a bag that looks like a baby-provider-keeper. While her companions looked somehow well-groomed and elite.
Believe me, I really don't want to make silly, false assumptions, but the thought about the possible resonances keep on running through my head. It's just very disturbing.
What if one day, you treat a person with such respect knowing a predictable profession lies ahead of them, and then the next thing you'll know, you'd end up meeting them again working for someone, or doing jobs that don't seem to fit their portfolios when they were still in college, or just walking around collecting garbage. Not that you don't show respect anymore, but just think about what they've become. I'm not stressing out that these kinds of occupations are somehow below the belt. What I'm trying to say is, it's such a pity seeing people that were so productive, so witty, so reliable beforehand. Yet again, they end up at a future that I never expected seeing them in. I want to believe that they're happy, that they somehow chose this future of theirs. Whatever the case, I just want to express the gratitude I have for them. For being such strong individuals. I'm pretty sure they've overcome strange obstacles before they thoroughly settled in their chosen path. And I'm positive that God personally picked them up in their past line of life, and carefully placed them to the line where they belong. God knows better. And he ought to have a better plan for our future than we have for ourselves. Just make sure to cling to him at all times, and nothing can possibly go wrong. :)
Thursday, February 21, 2013
My World: Chapter Two
Okay, so I'm gonna write here about this thought that keeps on bugging me. Have you ever wondered how you get to learn and know things without having someone to actually teach you?
Last Saturday, I was having my usual eat-sit-sleep-wake weekend at my lola's. I was sitting in front of our t.v and began scanning the channels. Then it hit me. How and when did I ever know about this stuff? Like the different t.v stations. I remember when I was a lot more younger, I'd just sit and stare at the t.v acting as if I have any idea with what was happening inside that screen. Until one day, I knew about ABS-CBN and GMA 7 (which, I really don't know how I found out about those stations). Since my mom and my aunts always watch at ABS-CBN, I figured, I should be fond of the shows of that channel, too. I found out that there was actually a stiff competition, or shall we say, "rivalry" between those two stations. Then, again, I have no idea how I knew that fact. I used to really hate GMA. We all know that there's always a short commercial break in the midst of a certain show. Well, I used to think that all the commercial ads that were aired in ABS belongs only to the said station. That's why I'm super ashamed of myself when I happened to sneak in GMA for about a decade ago, and saw a toothpaste commercial that I've already seen in ABS. You know what I did? Well, not that much. I just simply screamed at that freaking moment! I screamed the hell out of me and the next thing I know, my aunt was rushing downstairs and came to me instantly. I can see the full panic in her face as she ask me what's wrong. (Just so you know, my face is inexplicably red right now while writing) Then I gasped, "Tita oh! Gin agaw thang GMA ang advertithement thang EIBIETH. Dayaon!" I know. I'm stupid. And she just stared at me for a while as if trying to analyze my look if I'm kidding, and she laughed. She laughed so hard I could hear her lungs bounce in rhythm. Imagine? She just laughed at me boisterously, while I was there, staring at her, then at the t.v, then her again. My face full of confusion. I didn't even get my answer.
Then as I grew a bit matured, I figured out the answer myself. And yes, I didn't know how. And there are other things, so many more other things that I quite figured out on my own. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being so...human. Maybe I didn't learn by myself at all. Well, except the fact that I'm being sent to school everyday to learn, I'm pretty sure there are other things that I knew not just from textbooks, but from the world itself. With the help of my textbooks, I found out that I learn things immediately because I see through my eyes which passes to some random nervous glands until it reaches my brain. But with the help of the world, I found out that I learn things immediately because the world reminds me that I am a part of it. That I tend to learn about the things that surrounds it. And with all the years I've been doing it, I acquired wisdom. And that's how I learned more. I think. Wisdom is thoroughly coming into you without even knowing it. I just made that whole thing up. I know. It kinda sucks. But that's what I think. Ugh, see? I didn't even know how on earth I learned the word "wisdom".
Last Saturday, I was having my usual eat-sit-sleep-wake weekend at my lola's. I was sitting in front of our t.v and began scanning the channels. Then it hit me. How and when did I ever know about this stuff? Like the different t.v stations. I remember when I was a lot more younger, I'd just sit and stare at the t.v acting as if I have any idea with what was happening inside that screen. Until one day, I knew about ABS-CBN and GMA 7 (which, I really don't know how I found out about those stations). Since my mom and my aunts always watch at ABS-CBN, I figured, I should be fond of the shows of that channel, too. I found out that there was actually a stiff competition, or shall we say, "rivalry" between those two stations. Then, again, I have no idea how I knew that fact. I used to really hate GMA. We all know that there's always a short commercial break in the midst of a certain show. Well, I used to think that all the commercial ads that were aired in ABS belongs only to the said station. That's why I'm super ashamed of myself when I happened to sneak in GMA for about a decade ago, and saw a toothpaste commercial that I've already seen in ABS. You know what I did? Well, not that much. I just simply screamed at that freaking moment! I screamed the hell out of me and the next thing I know, my aunt was rushing downstairs and came to me instantly. I can see the full panic in her face as she ask me what's wrong. (Just so you know, my face is inexplicably red right now while writing) Then I gasped, "Tita oh! Gin agaw thang GMA ang advertithement thang EIBIETH. Dayaon!" I know. I'm stupid. And she just stared at me for a while as if trying to analyze my look if I'm kidding, and she laughed. She laughed so hard I could hear her lungs bounce in rhythm. Imagine? She just laughed at me boisterously, while I was there, staring at her, then at the t.v, then her again. My face full of confusion. I didn't even get my answer.
Then as I grew a bit matured, I figured out the answer myself. And yes, I didn't know how. And there are other things, so many more other things that I quite figured out on my own. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being so...human. Maybe I didn't learn by myself at all. Well, except the fact that I'm being sent to school everyday to learn, I'm pretty sure there are other things that I knew not just from textbooks, but from the world itself. With the help of my textbooks, I found out that I learn things immediately because I see through my eyes which passes to some random nervous glands until it reaches my brain. But with the help of the world, I found out that I learn things immediately because the world reminds me that I am a part of it. That I tend to learn about the things that surrounds it. And with all the years I've been doing it, I acquired wisdom. And that's how I learned more. I think. Wisdom is thoroughly coming into you without even knowing it. I just made that whole thing up. I know. It kinda sucks. But that's what I think. Ugh, see? I didn't even know how on earth I learned the word "wisdom".
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
My World: Chapter One
There are many chapters of my life. Like, book-chapters chapters. Oh. It would've been nice if there's actually a Book of Life or something. Like a Record For Living, or a Massive Documentation of Events kind of thing for everyone. Wherein you could actually scan back to the things where you really have the urge to experience once again. Or you could just simply rip off the pages of your worst nightmares and mistakes. Or you could just reread and reread anything that made up your entire life. Well, that would've been deja vu all day for everyone. But seriously. Having to read up what happened to you a whole lifetime ago would've been amazing.
That's why I quite liked our daily routine of having to write up in our Journal notebook before. It just has that ability to creep into you like a loose vein finding it's way into the sunlight. It has the ability to make you smile and chuckle, to soothe you, to help you reminisce. It was just plainly awesome. But it's a bit too different to my assumption of the "Book Of Life" thing. In what composes my imagination, the Book Of Life would literally contain what actually happened to you in a certain second of an hour of a day. Like, accuracy-is-a-must is actually a kind of motto in that book. Plus, that book helps you to add up a little spark to your imagining skills. Because eventually, it doesn't contain pictures. So it's up to you to picture out what literally happened to you at a certain event of your life. I just like books with no pictures. Make sense?
Anyway, since I really have no idea where this is going, I suppose I could just end here. I was supposed to write "Dancing is one of the many chapters of my life" as the first sentence. Seriously. But I don't know how in the world I got to talking about books and events and stuff. Oh well, I just had the thought. I guess Chapter Two would come next. Ü
Chapter 1 My World
Friday, February 8, 2013
Moi :)
I'm still kinda getting the hang of this blog thing. To be practically honest, I'm more comfortable in writing on my plain, old journal notebook. Beside the fact that it literally builds up the whole concept of "privacy", my eyes are not very good with too long hours of facing this wide-screened desktop. Anyway, I've made my account here a couple of weeks ago. And I've only written my very first entry just now.
Anyway, let's get to my point here. This blog thing is apparently a project in our Journalism Class. So, I'm supposed to write. Before anything else, since I'm almost glad you'd found a couple of your precious time to spare just to read this junk of mine, I suppose I should make y'all know me first.
I was given the name Xenia Monica Cabrias by my parents. You don't get to hear that name all day, but I'm good with that. Although it may sound a bit earthy. It's like a retired, old woman's name actually. I admit. But no, it's fine. My friends just call me Xen or Nicca. You may call me that as well if you don't have the mood to add a syllable to Xen just like my friends probably.
I'm currently an eighth-grader at our school. And I'm turning on 15 this June. I love purple. Sometimes yellow. A bit of blue, too. Maybe a little green would be nice. I don't know. I just like colors. I'm literally obsessed with food. Well, I absolutely hate peanut, peanut butter, and anything that has nuts on it. (Except Snickers) :)
That's pretty much all I can share right now. Or let's just say, my eyes are barely open while I type. Should that explain it? Anyway, there's still a lot, A LOT about me that you'd probably know as you take a stroll here at my world. Ciao for now! ;)
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